One of my fears as an adoptive mom is that my children will ever feel like they weren’t wanted.
I know I can’t protect them from the range of emotions they will most likely feel one day. I hope they will let me walk through those big emotions with them and understand I have always wanted them.
From the first day we met, I wanted them to be my sons.
As I held them in my arms, I knew I wanted to protect them.
Hearing our toddler squeal with delight as he played with my husband; seeing the baby cradled in his arms, I wanted them to have him as their daddy.
Watching my big kids excitement over everything they did, I wanted them to have them as their older siblings forever.
Before they ever scraped their knees, I wanted to be the one to pick them up and make it better.
I wanted to be their mommy.
Wanting something to happen though, doesn’t mean it will happen. In the foster system there is a process and as a foster parent you have no control over that process. So our year of waiting and praying began.
That year was full of home visits, meetings, court dates, doctor check-ups, paperwork, and visitations. (We actually didn’t have many visitations but the couple we had were still hard.) Amongst all of that, life went on as “normal” for our new family. Everyday we loved and wanted these boys more. I prayed and learned to trust God and His plan more than any other time in my life.
Finally after a year, we sat in a courtroom full of family and friends.
We heard our boys’ new names read out loud and were legally made a family. I cannot begin to explain the sheer joy I felt that day. In my heart they had been my sons for a year, but now I knew that wouldn’t change. They would always be my sons and I would always be their mommy.
If anyone thinks adopted children are unwanted, let me assure you that is simply not the case.
Of course, I’m not the only one who hoped for our boys. I watched my husband love them unconditionally and have patience with them like I had never seen before all because he wanted them. After feeling the pain of saying goodbye to a baby they loved, I witnessed our older children open their hearts freely to love their baby brothers. It doesn’t end there though. Extended family members who had just walked through the last chapter in our foster story, willingly opened their hearts and arms to our boys. Friends asked how things were going and prayed for our family. Our boys are wanted.
Since adopting our sons, it has truly sunk in what it means to be an adopted child of God. It means I was and always will be wanted; that He views me no differently than His other children. It means I am loved.